Full of laughter, full of cheer. My favorite time and season of the year! I love holiday season. It brings the most amazing moments filled with laughter, cheer and warmth. So why is it that I feel so out of it lately? It has been the most crazy of holidays and honestly, I don't know what's what anymore.
There's a weird sensation going around and it's making me rethink a lot of things. Do I want to continue with this type of lifestyle? Do I just want to leave it? There doesn't seem to be a final solution. Searching and still searching even more. It's so hard to fulfill the list of wants because it just continues to grow more and more. Being content with what you've got is hard, isn't it?
It's easier said than done and although I say I'm grateful for everything that's in my life...am I really? Selfish thoughts and vicious thoughts still cloud my judgement sometimes and it makes me rather afraid of why do the things I do. Always seeking new things, new adventure and never settling. My heart is so confused and hurt. Perhaps I am just feeling a bit homesick and perhaps I may just be weak at this moment in time but it most definitely happens to the best of us.
I will still work hard and continue to be optimistic. However sometimes things will be thought about and things will be pondered upon. Something I probably will not be able to change. Everyone has their strange little habits. This is mine.
Endlessly pondering.
-V
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